We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
