Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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