but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize