Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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