We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
