I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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