gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
