I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
