hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
