I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
