btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
