omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize