Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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