i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
