So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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