i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
