That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
