So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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