Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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