My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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