i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
