Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize