Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
