When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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