Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
