He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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