i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
