Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
