she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
