we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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