you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
