if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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