Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
