The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
