we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
