put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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