Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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