just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize