Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
