That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
