he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
the raccoons are back...
Randomize