okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
