and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
