I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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