Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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