You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
