Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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