ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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