What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
