Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
