I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
