well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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