you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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