So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.