I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize