so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
