fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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