Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
