She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
