I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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